Is it okay to ask a child to lie? Is there such a thing as a white lie?

I know this may bring much controversy, but I truly feel led to write it after my son’s 1st homework assignment.

My question would be, is it okay having children telling lies? Is lying ever harmless or innocent?  This was my 5th-grade son’s 1st homework assignment. Notice it is a way to get to know the kids. I handed it to Jonah this morning and he immediately said “Mom, I’m not doing it because I am not going to tell a lie”  He instead chose to tell two truths about himself.  We have ALWAYS taught our children there are consequences for telling lies, yet, in his homework assignment he is being asked to tell a lie. We are a very spiritual family and we don’t believe ever asking a child to tell a “lie” is innocent. Have you ever went into a buffet or an amusement park and seen a family bend down and tell their children, if they ask how old you are tell them x, y, or z, because they want to get the cheaper price. People justify it by saying, “Well, they won’t eat that much, so why should we have to pay that much” or “they won’t ride many rides so why should we have to pay the full price”, or “we couldn’t afford to go if we had to pay the full price”.  You have to pay that much, because that is the rules of the restaurant. Even when we do not like them, those are the rules and truth always prevails. The 9th Commandment is “Thou Shall Not Lie”. There is not a stipulation under the commandement telling us when it is okay. There is no place where it says some lies are more harmful than other lies. The same is for a sin. Because ultimately sin separates us from God and lying is a sin that also separates us from God.   As humans, we try to justify our sins or our lies, by saying, well it was innocent, but honestly that is NOT truth. ALL sins separate us from Christ and lying is a sin. This lesson, in our opinion, is telling our kids that some lies are okay, because it was given as an assignment by a teacher, so in essence we are justifying the telling of a lie. It is also confusing for a child, so sometimes I can lie and it is okay?  In all actuality, it desensitizes us to lying and I don’t want my kids to be desensitized to sin.

But what does God say about lying? The Bible is clear that lying is a sin and is displeasing to God. Proverbs 12:22 “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.” Everyone may not agree with what our family believes and that is okay.  I will still love and respect everyone 🙂  We are strong believers on God’s word and lying is NEVER a good thing. If that means Jonah receives a “zero” on that assignment, that is okay with us.  We have already prayed about it and know God is in control.  We are proud that Jonah recognized how important it was to stand up for what he knew was not morally right.  He knew it was much more important to stand up for what God has instructed him to do. And as affirmation after I wrote this post, I received this tweet from Rick Warren. . THANK YOU JESUS

Quotes about Lies?   “Well, it was only a white lie”. What’s a white lie?  A lie. There is no such thing as a “little” white lie.  No matter how big or small, it is being dishonest and separates us from God.   By no means am I implying the teacher intended for this assignment to come off this way, but maybe now she will see how it could come across and rethink the wording of the assignment.  It could read “Tell us 3 facts about yourself” or my one friend suggested she could say “What’s something you wish were true about yourself”. There are other ways to complete this assignment without asking our children to “Lie”.  It really is sending mixed signals to our children that lying is okay sometimes.

For anyone that saw the Movie “God’s Not Dead”, well that has had a huge impact on Jonah. They were asked to write “GOD IS Dead” in class and one student refused to do it, because he  felt a huge conviction from God.   The others just wanted to be done with the assignment so they completed it, but this student knew he needed to stand up for what was right. He lost a lot while doing it, but he gained so much more at the end. God will bless the person who acknowledges him and his ways. Standing up for truth is not always easy and many times will make us uncomfortable, but when God nudges at our heart to do the right thing, we need to be obedient no matter what the consequences. Scripture says in Romans 12:2 NIV “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” So no matter if everyone else is doing it, we cannot use them as a measurement of what is right and wrong.  Our ONLY standard should be God.   If we truly want to know God’s truth, all we have to do is open the Bible and pray for wisdom, strength, and courage, and let God do the rest. When we make a decision to take a stance, we need to do it in a loving way. God doesn’t want it done in a confrontational manner. We need to be the image of Christ and represent him well in ALL things.  God’s not Dead!!! He is living on the inside of each of us and today pray how God would use you for his Glory!!  Do not conform to this world EVER. .  Use God ALWAYS as your standard 🙂  I would love to know your thoughts on this topic. . . Love you guys!!

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